You sighed, running your hands up and down your chilly arms. Goosebumps erupted on the surface of your skin, creating small indents in your flesh. You had no idea what you were doing, breaking your promise to the others. Just like the other students, you had sworn not to leave your room during the nighttime hours.
But once again, you were sleepless.
Chronic insomnia was something you—unfortunately—suffered, especially whenever you were not in your own bed. Though at first you had been reluctant to attend a school where you would remain in the dorms, your parents had encouraged you to enroll. They suggested bringing your pillows, blankets, and anything else to help evoke the sense of home. Perhaps that would help with your insomnia.
However, that was not the case. Monokuma had confiscated all of your belongings, including these necessities. Ever since you arrived here, you had been unable to sleep. One night after another, more and more bags hung under your eyes.
The only ones remaining since your arrival were Byakuya Togami, Toko Fukawa, Aoi Asahina, Sakura Ogami, Kyoko Kirigiri, Yasuhiro Hagakure, Makoto Naegi, and yourself.
Out of all of them, you only trusted one person to help you.
And that’s what made you break your promise to the others, and how you found yourself standing in front of his door.
It was engraved on the plate positioned on his door, along with a pixelated sprite of the owner. Ever since Sayaka had swapped them out, everyone was swift to check that theirs was always where it belonged. But you checked once again, confirming that this was indeed his room. His was sandwiched between Kyoko and the late Sayaka’s, so there was no doubt that this belonged to him.
Raising a trembling hand (whether from nerves or lack of sleep, you couldn’t tell, you rapped your knuckles on the wooden surface of Makoto’s door. When no one answered, you knocked again, a little louder this time.
You wondered if the soundproof state of the rooms had anything to do with this.
This was not the case, however, because soon after you had knocked, the door swung open, and revealed the brown-haired boy rubbing his olive green eyes.
“Huh…(Y/n)? What are you doing here?” His voice was tired and slurred from exhaustion, and guilt coiled in your gut for interrupting his sleep. “Is something wrong?”
You cast your gaze to the ground, suddenly embarrassed. Though your chronic insomnia was not the big secret that Monokuma had threatened to reveal, it was certainly not something you were proud of. You didn’t know why, but you always felt inferior to others whenever you thought of how they could sleep without trouble while you kept tossing and turning in the night.
Whenever someone asked about the dark circles under your eyes, you explained that you couldn’t sleep due to the lingering fear that you would be betrayed—or you would be the one betraying others.
Well, it wasn’t entirely a lie. You couldn’t sleep, but fear wasn’t the prime suspect.
“I…I can’t sleep,” you admitted shyly, twiddling your fingers together. “I was wondering if I could s-stay here for the night…”
You glanced up briefly to meet Makoto’s eyes, who were widened in surprise.
You hastily added, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up. I’ll go now…”
“No, wait,” Makoto said, stopping you before you could leave. “It just took me by surprise. You can stay here, I’ll just go to your room—“
“No!” you gasped, causing Makoto to jump in surprise. “I-I’m sorry…I just don’t feel safe alone. Especially after what happened with S-Sayaka…”
You knew Sayaka was a touchy subject for the dusty-haired boy, but it was the truth. You wouldn’t feel safe switching rooms. No one trusted each other to do that, thanks to Sayaka’s cunning plan to murder Leon.
Makoto cleared his throat. “W-Well, okay. C-Come in, I guess.”
He stepped aside so that you could enter, and you immediately took in the surroundings. It didn’t look any different from yours, thanks to the fact that Monokuma had taken away most of your personal belongings. However, you knew that some of the others had managed to decorate their rooms to their liking, such as Hifumi with his anime obsession before he…was murdered.
“(Y/n), can I ask you a question?”
You hummed in response, watching as he took one pillow from the bed and set it on the floor. This only served to make you feel more guilty about forcing him to sleep on the ground.
“Why can’t you sleep?” he asked, glancing at your form, which crawled under the covers. “You say that it’s because of your fear, but I know that’s not true.”
He can see right through me…
You sighed, and pulled the covers to your chin in an attempt to hide yourself. “W-Well, I, um…I have chronic insomnia. I can only sleep in my own bed, but since Monokuma took away all my stuff, I haven’t been able to sleep since I got here.”
“Oh.” Makoto seemed at a loss for words at your confession. And who could blame him? Not many people just came out and admitted they were a chronic insomniac.
“I-I guess I should be called the Ultimate Insomniac.” You chuckled at your own joke.
“Why do you think sleeping here will help?”
You remained silent, unsure how to explain. “I-I dunno…You’re just really nice, and I feel comfortable around you. Safe.”
You blushed profusely, and ducked your head so that the covers hid it. Though you would never admit it aloud, you had a
massive tiny crush on the shy yet kind boy. Makoto was a truly compassionate individual. And to add to that, he was also smart, a trait you found very attractive in men.
Being surrounded by stupid, idiot jocks was probably part of the reason.
“O-Oh, w-well, um, okay,” Makoto answered, blushing just as hard as you. Seeing how he had no blankets to cover him, you briefly wondered if you should offer one of yours. Before you could, he said, “Well, goodnight, (Y/n)…”
As if on cue, the lights shut off, blanketing the two of you in darkness. You heard Makoto shuffle around as he tried to find a comfortable position, but you remained frozen like a statue. Though you had initially thought staying with Makoto would help, it turned out that he had the opposite effect. His presence merely served to make you nervous.
“M-Makoto?” you whispered, voice evidently trembling in the quiet.
“I-I, um, I have to say something.” You took a deep breath to calm yourself, and sat up. You weren’t known for your confidence, but…you just couldn’t keep it in anymore. Your feelings for Makoto surged through you like a flood, pounding on the gates as they demanded to be free. The only way to rid yourself of this suffocating sensation was to confess. “Ireallyreallylikeyou.”
“U-Uh, could you repeat that?”
“I…I really really like you.” You waited for a response, but when one didn’t come, you continued. “A-After Sayaka’s death, I had honestly thought that you were a murderer, but when we learned it wasn’t you…I was surprised to see what a kind person you were. You were always genuinely concerned for everyone else, and you strived to make the best out of our situation. Th-Then I started to develop a crush on you.” You bit your lower lip. “I wanted to tell you before…before one of us died.”
You refrained from telling him that it wasn’t a minor crush, but possibly full-blown love. How would he respond to that?
“I-It’s fine if you don’t like me back,” you murmured, still fearful at the fact that Makoto had not said a single word. “I-I can leave if you want.”
“No, don’t!” he suddenly shouted, and you emitted an ‘eep’ sound. “S-Sorry…I-It just took me by surprise! I had to make sure this wasn’t just a dream.”
“Just a dream…?” Is he saying what I think he’s saying?
“(Y/n), I like you too,” he announced. You saw the silhouette of his figure stand up, but you couldn’t see his features. A part of you swelled with joy at his confession, but the cynicism inside of you warned you that he might be lying. You pushed that feeling aside. “I have for a while. I honestly thought you didn’t like me, because you’re always so quiet and shy around me.”
“Th-That’s because I was afraid that I would say something stupid!” you blurted out, grinning widely. “L-Like when I tried asking for the orange juice, but I ended up asking for the orange ass…”
You still blushed when you thought about it. Whereas everyone else was laughing at your expense, you and Makoto had remained silent, too embarrassed to say anything else. At first, you had thought he wasn’t laughing because he didn’t notice, but then you realized that it was because he pitied you.
You didn’t want pity from anyone.
“Oh, yeah,” Makoto chuckled weakly, and you spotted his hand rubbing the back of his head. You wondered if he was just going to stand up the entire time. Then, you saw him move closer to the bed, and fireworks exploded in your cheeks. “D-Do you mind if I…?”
“W-Well, it’s your bed,” you mumbled, tightening your grip on the covers. Your shyness had taken over once again. You stiffened when you felt the bed dip beside you, but you forced yourself to relax. Makoto—the boy of your dreams—had just confessed to you, and you were being tense!
Calm down. H-He’s just getting into bed with you.
“S-Sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable,” Makoto apologized, leaning back so that his head rested on the pillow next to you. Eventually, you leaned back too, and rolled on your side so that you could face him.
“N-No, you’re not. I-I’ve just never…been in bed with a boy.” You pondered what your parents would think of you if they knew you were in this situation.
Then again, if they knew you had been missing for weeks without any contact with the outside world, they surely would’ve saved you by now. Sorrow washed over you, but you had to remind yourself to be happy. At least you were with Makoto. There could be worse situations, right?
“Well, I’ve never been in bed with a girl,” admitted Makoto sheepishly. “I guess there’s a first time for everything.”
You giggled. “Everything, huh…”
You emitted a muffled cry of surprise when you felt Makoto press his lips against yours, brushing ever so lightly, as if testing the waters. When he felt no resistance from you, he pushed with more confidence, and his hand cupped the back of your head.
You had never kissed a boy before, so you didn’t know what to do. What would be acceptable? What wouldn’t? What would he want you to do? These questions were immediately erased the moment Makoto deepened the kiss, eliciting a moan from you.
The two of you didn’t stop until you needed to pull back for air. As you did, you both went back and forth between panting and laughing in elation.
“Was that your first kiss?” you shyly asked.
Makoto nodded. “What about you?”
“Yeah…” you whispered. “And I think it was amazing.”
“Me too.” Makoto draped his arm over your side and pulled you close to him, so that your face was pressed against his chest. “Goodnight, (Y/n).”
Maybe you wouldn’t be so sleepless anymore.